Kuk KillBitch

[johnnyclash]

[]

Johnny Clash: umm driver.. Where's the arena?

Driver: directions say Murphy Rec Center sir

Johnny Clash: what kinda low budget high school gym shit did I get myself into

[[Johnny hands the driver his luggage case as the driver wheels it in for him. Johnny looks around stunned as he walks up to the front desk where an older large woman is sitting there with a clip board and stickers]]

Debra: name please sir?

Johnny Clash: that's cute. Like you people don't know who I am.

Debra: I'm sorry sir but everyone is required to sign in on the attendance sheet

[[Johnny takes a deep breath and leans in]]

Johnny Clash: where do I sign. And I swear to god if I see this on eBay tomorrow I will sue your ass for your entire trailer park. And no I will not sign your tits. Don't think I'll be able to find them anyway in that sack of meat.

[[the woman smiles a Johnny not understanding that he had just dissed her. She pushes the clipboard towards him he signs half of his name before staring at her. She gives him a doofy smile and he signs the rest. He throws the pen down and it rolls on to the floor]]

Debra: okay sir all sit. Let me just put this on you..

[[the woman stands up and places a sticker on Johnny's chest with his name on it]]

Debra: that's just so we know who you are and you can walk in and out freely. Does your friend need a tag too?

[[Johnny looks back at the driver and takes the bag from him]]

Johnny Clash: no only me. Sorry Ayaz. Keep the engine running this wont take long.

[[the driver heads out the front door as Johnny walks in to the rec center]]

Debra: you have to go through the double doors than make a left, a quick right another left and go straight ...

Johnny Clash: yeah yeah I'll figure it out

[[Johnny walks through the double doors and walks down the hall with title in hand and dragging his bag. He opens one door as steam pours out at him]]

"Hey close that! You're letting our steam out"

[[naked old men sit in the wooden room relaxing as Johnny closes the door quickly]]

Johnny Clash: what the hell kinda place is this

[[Johnny continues down the hall and walks through another set of doors. And sees an old gymnasium set up with a wrestling ring and barricades. He walks around looking at it]]

Johnny Clash: what is it standing room only or is there actually only 50 people showing up?

[[Johnny looks through the entrance of the mini stage built of plywood. He walks past the curtain to a locker room full of young wrestlers getting ready]]

Johnny Clash: oh sorry guys. I guess my locker room is the other way

"You don't have a separate locker room. You have to change with us 'champ'"

[[Johnny looks irate as the wrestler points to a locker with his name on it made from a piece of loose leaf paper. He looks back and pulls the tag off. He opens the locker and takes his stuff out of the bag]]

Johnny Clash: unbelievable this place is a nightmare. Why did i sign up for this

"Because you're old and washed up"

[[Johnny turns around and walks over to the guy who spoke up]]

Johnny Clash: the nerve of you new comers these days. You don't know the ropes in his business yet. That's why you're here making minimum wage and I'm touring the country making millions being the greatest man to ever live. I'm here doing you a favor puttin this piece of shit company over

[[Johnny pulls a flyer off the wall next to the guy for tonight's show]]

Johnny Clash: is that comic sans font in the logo?! What the hell did I get myself into.

[[Johnny pushes the flyer into the chest of the wrestler and exits the locker room. He steps back into the gym area where they are testing equipment for the show tonight. A rugged old furry looking man is in front of the camera cutting a crappy promo. Johnny stands to the side of him watching with his arms folded]]

Johnny Clash: this is pathetic

"And Johnny Clash has arrived! He seems to still be his bright cheery self"

Johnny Clash: I'm just sick of being in this gymnasium getting treated like a rookie. You want to see how a promo is done? Step aside sleigh boy

[[the guy looks down at his red shirt and tugs his beard before stepping away. Johnny looks in to the camera]]

Johnny Clash: I have worked my whole life to get where I am in this industry. I have already paid my dues and wrestled in low budget gyms like this one. Hell I toured high schools when I was 19 and by the time I was 21 I was Main eventing in big arenas all over the country. Now I'm back here. Back to square one in mccw. Why I signed on for this match is beside me

[[Johnny shakes his head before continuing]]

Johnny Clash: and tonight I face someone that I have yet to face. I'll admit we have had beef before but never came to blows as much as I'd love to ring his fat neck. Tonight is what they want to call an "MPW dream match." Why? Because Kuk has dreamt of facing me for a while? To me this is an easy night off rather than a dream match. Whoever came up with that one needs to be fired and sent back to the Taco Bell assembly line.

[[Johnny looks around him at the full gym]]

Johnny Clash: you wanna put the biggest star in wrestling today in the worlds smallest arena? No one paying for their five dollar ticket tonight deserves to be graced with my presence.

[[before continuing Johnny looks under the ring apron]]

Johnny Clash: oh yeah there we go. Fully stocked under there. Ha

[[Johnny takes out a kendo stick and tests it on the floor]]

Johnny Clash: the kendo stick always my weapon of choice. You see what you don't know about me is I'm a multiple time x-treme as well as hardcore champion. All kuk has been well.... Is a janitor. I have seen him try and try so many times. Every single attempt he has failed.

[[Johnny tests the strength of the kendo stick over his knee than twirls it in his hand]]

Johnny Clash: every time Kuk has tried he failed. Every time I tried I succeeded. That is why I'm the MPW World Champion and why that title isn't going anywhere

[[Johnny adjusts the belt on his shoulder]]

Johnny Clash: now there are some familiar faces around here besides Kuk. John Fisherman? That guy quits MPW to break out and find his niche in the business. And that lead him here? This dump ? Something is seriously wrong about that. I would be surprised if this place never saw me again after I destroy Kuk tonight at his self proclaimed own game. Luckily I signed on for a few more matches so I'm obligated to be here until I get my lawyer.

[[Johnny smiles and holds the belt up to the camera. He hits it with the kendo stick]]

Johnny Clash: the name is Johnny Clash for those who still have their head up their ass. Yeah that's you Kuk. I fear for you

[[Johnny walks away from the camera with the belt]]

Johnny Clash: that's how it's done grandpa

[[he continues walking away as the other man stands there in awe. Clash makes his way down to the cafeteria which is full of old people]]

Johnny Clash: man I'm starving. This dump better have fried chicken

[[Clash stands on line next to an old woman who stares at him. He looks down and stares back]]

Johnny Clash: what do you want yoda! Why are you staring at me!

Old woman: I like lemonade

Johnny Clash: I'm happy for you now stop creeping me out. I said stop!

[[an old man comes around the corner with a sweat band on and a blue jogging suit with matching pants. He puts his fists up]]

Old man: you leave my woman alone! Find your own gal

[[Johnny bursts out laughing]]

Johnny Clash: are you serious? I want nothing to do with Gladys knight over here. So calm down there Mr. Magoo. I'm not going to fight an old man

Old man: leave my beautiful Holly alone!

Johnny Clash: Holly huh? That explains the craziness. Listen gramps. I don't wanna fight you. You have obviously lost your marbles and been around the block a few times but go back to your rocking chair and knit me a sweater

[[at this point everyone is watching and Johnny stands there frustrated. The old man goes to swing but Johnny steps away and the man flinches]]

Old Man: my back! I'm going to sue you!

Johnny Clash: sigh... Shut up

[[Johnny takes a plastic tray off the lunch counter and smacks it over the old mans head. It shatters and the old man falls down. His wife continues to stare at Johnny with an awkward smile]]

Johnny Clash: what!!?

Old Lady: I like Popsicles

Johnny Clash: my god. I'm surrounded by idiots

[[Johnny walks out of the food court with his hand over his face shaking his head]]

Johnny Clash: one psycho reject to the next. I'm ready for you Kuk and it won't be pretty

[[scene fades]]